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Bible Humor

Act 12:5 Then, indeed, Peter was kept in prison. But earnest prayer was made to God for him by the church.

Peter Is Rescued

Act 12:6 And when Herod was about to bring him out, the same night Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains. Also guards were keeping the prison before the door. 
Act 12:7 And behold! An angel of the Lord stood by, and a light shone in the building. And striking Peter’s side, he raised him up, saying, Rise up quickly! And his chains fell off his hands. 
Act 12:8 And the angel said to him, Gird yourself and put on your sandals. And he did so. And he says to him, Throw your robe around you and follow me. 
Act 12:9 And he went out and followed him. And he did not know that this happening through the angel was true, but thought he saw a vision. 
Act 12:10 When they were past the first and second guard, they came to the iron gate that leads to the city, which opened to them of its own accord. And they went out and passed on through one street. And immediately the angel departed from him. 
Act 12:11 And having come to himself, Peter said, Now I know surely that the Lord has sent His angel and has delivered me out of the hand of Herod, and from all the expectation of the people of the Jews.
Act 12:12 And thinking about it, he came to the house of Mary the mother of John, whose last name was Mark; where many had gathered together to pray.
Act 12:13 And as Peter knocked at the door of the porch, a girl named Rhoda came to listen. 
Act 12:14 And when she knew Peter’s voice, she did not open the porch because of gladness, but running in she reported Peter was standing before the porch. 
Act 12:15 And they said to her, You are mad. But she kept on saying that it was so. And they said, It is his angel. 
Act 12:16 But Peter continued knocking, and when they had opened and saw him, they were amazed. 
Act 12:17 But, waving to them with his hand to be quiet, he declared to them how the Lord had brought him out of the prison. And he said, Go tell these things to James and to the brothers.

How silly that people doubt God answers prayer and yet they pray. God really appreciates faith coupled with prayer. Remember when the church had be fervently praying for Peter’s release from jail. Then, God answered their prayers. But, when Peter stood knocking, wanting to be let in to the folks that had prayed for him, the woman was so excited to hear him outside that she forgot to open the door. Subsequently, the others would not believe her that God had answered their prayers. Peter even had to quiet them down after they saw him for fear that his escape would be found out. God surly must wonder about comical situations that come about when people ask for miracles, but do not believe when the prayers are answered.

Jesus at the well
Joh 4:12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself, and his children and his cattle? 
Joh 4:13 Jesus answered and said to her, Whoever drinks of this water shall thirst again, 
Joh 4:14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst, but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. 
Joh 4:15 The woman said to Him, Sir, give me this water, so that I may not thirst nor come here to draw.
Joh 4:16 Jesus said to her, Go, call your husband and come here. 
Joh 4:17 The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said to her, You have well said, I have no husband 
Joh 4:18 for you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband. In that you spoke truly. 
Joh 4:19 The woman said to Him, Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet.

When Jesus told the woman at the well her entire marriage history she was so amazed that she could only say I think that you are a prophet. No one could know these things without God’s help. We would also be properly amazed to realize that God knows all about us. Nothing is hidden. There are no secrets kept from God. How would we react realizing that someone before us was God? Do we feel that just because we do not see God he is absent and we can hide?

Adam and Eve would have benefited knowing that God would find out their disobedience. Perhaps, they would have made a better decision to obey God.

When Elijah hid in a cave trying to escape Jezebel he forgot that God had been with him all along doing mighty works. He forgot to trust God to protect him. So, some motive was involved when God asked “What are you doing here?” God knew that Elijah’s faith had failed. Elijah needed to re-evaluate his circumstances. Good lesson! We need to remember that God knows all and we should act accordingly.

1Ki 19:2 And Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah saying, So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life like the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time. 
1Ki 19:3 And he saw, he rose and went for his life, and came to Beer-sheba of Judah, and left his servant there. 

1Ki 19:9 And he came there to a cave and stayed there. And behold, the Word of Jehovah came to him, and He said to him, What are you doing here, Elijah?


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